Fire- good, travel- ok, esteem- bad

This is the living room of the lake home. We have a furnace there, but during the winter we keep a fire going. We don't have to have a fire, but I think just about everyone loves a fire going in the fireplace. When I head up there by myself in the winter, I like to turn off all the lights at night and watch the glow of the fire reflected on the walls.

It looks like I'll be heading to St. Paul, Minnesota next week for work. A last minute trip, but at least I didn't have any plans that I would've had to reschedule. The good thing is that I'll be training just one person. One person trains are the best since you can get through the material quickly, get everything that person needs, and work on any specific issues without worrying about the rest of the class. I've always worked better one on one, too. It will be a short trip, too. I leave Monday and will get back on Wednesday since I'll head home right after it's over.

The past week or so, I've been taking lots of shots at myself. I tend to do that rather than blame other people for how I feel. If I blame other people for my moods, I'll get angry with them and I hate how I behave when I'm really angry. I sometimes will just shut down and turn off all of my emotions rather than take it out on other people. Things are probably better that way.

Back to where I was going, tho. I don't have the best of self esteems or confidence in myself. I'm certainly confident when it comes to a few things like academics, technology, and my bedroom skills. When it comes to other people, I lose all confidence. I can't read people, don't get "hints", and feel like such a moron when it comes to social situations. When my social life seems to be in the toilet, I just assume it was something I did since I know I'm bad at it. I am blunt and brutally honest as well, which is something most people don't want to hear. I found out recently that I appear arrogant as well. I wouldn't think I'm arrogant, but I couldn't tell you what kind of image I project, either.

*chuckles* I never know if any of my babblings make sense to other people, but that's how I think of things. Take care everyone.