Better Living Through Chemistry
If you're just picking this up now, you may want to read the last post. I'd say read them all first, but we're all busy people.
Let me tell you what it's like to be in my head. It's a cluttered place for one. I absorb a lot of information without even trying, but it's not always organized thoughts. I tend to run on tangents of tangents of tangents. I usually have three or four thoughts running at the same time, and if one of them is fun or juicy, I can be in daydreamland in a second. I have a darn good imagination too, which doesn't help any. I get distracted really easily by both internal thoughts, and external things like sounds and sights. I tend to put stimulating thoughts first, so I forget to do little easy chores often. I'm distracted by my other thoughts as well, and sometimes I miss subtle clues when dealing with people. There are good things to it, tho.
I'm the guy who can remember exactly what happened years ago. Since I'm always thinking, I don't gather too much dust on my memories. I also am used to multitasking like no other. Great for high stress situations and the bedroom. One weird thing that happens, is that I become hyperfocused. It's an odd trait, but common for people with ADD. Hyperfocus is when you focus so much on something that you notice virtually nothing else. I remember a while back that I sat down to play a new game, and it grabbed my attention so thoroughly that I didn't notice that I had missed lunch, dinner, and the sunset. I had turned on the game at 10AM, and it was midnight before my bladder finally dragged my attention away. I've also had projects going on at work where I have to ask myself, "when did I last eat?" One time I had college and work projects going on, and I missed 48 hours of meals. Scary, huh?
By the title, I'm sure you can figure out what treatment method I chose. I've not had much faith in psychologists. Maybe I never saw a benefit when my parents made me go to one when I was younger. No permanent benefits, at least. That's why I put my faith in something I knew a lot about. I asked to be put on medication.
They didn't give me Ritalin or it's generics, but instead my doctor put me on Adderall XR. It's an extended release amphetamine. To me, it works like coffee in waking me up without the jitters. It also lasts 12 hours at a time. I tend to avoid coffee now, tho. I know it's not good to keep tossing stimulants into the mix, as eventually it's going to kick your ass.
It works very well for me. Other than it waking me up in the morning, I don't notice much in the way of side effects. I focus a lot more during the day while it's in my system, but go back to normal as it wears off in the evening. I think I'm a little more sensitive to heat, but not sure as I started taking it just as summer began.
Why have I shared all of this yesterday and today? Well, I have a big question on my mind that I need to make a decision on in the near future. I'm having a hard time choosing, since one route is risky and requires sacrifice, but if successful it has the most benefits. The other would keep me at my current level of comfort. It's a tough call, and I'll get into the heart of things tomorrow.
posted by Erik @ 9:02 PM
6 comments
6 Comments:
1st - No matter what is going on, I always have a song playing in my head. I can remember songs like it's no ones business. It doesn't matter the genre if I hear it twice (three times max) I'll know it forever. And if I forget even a small part of it for whatever reason, I will rack my brain until it comes to me. This could last for hours. And I don't just remember the song lyrics, I remember the music as well. Maybe i should get myself checked out as well...
2nd - This is cliche but its cliche for a reason. There is a saying that I think goes something like this - The bigger the risk the bigger the reward. I'm not sure if that helps so I'll also toss in something my mom always told me before she kicked me out the house. "Nothing beats a failure but a try". Do you really want to live knowing you didn't give this thing a shot?
1- I'm much the same on music. Not sure if it's an ADD thing or not. Some other things I do that are ADD related are... Spacing out in the middle of sentences and I can't remember what I was in the middle of. I used to be figity all the time, and because of it, I either had to tap my feet or do something with my hands. They say it's because ADD people need constant stimulation. That would explain my sex life pretty thoroughly *laughs*.
2- I'll post a little later about both sides of that coin. I have to get a bit of work done first, tho.
That's it then. I must have ADD.
See a doctor first. They'll probably send you to a psychologist from there, but they do a few blood tests to check if it's a thyroid or other hormonal problem.
It's a fairly expensive process, too. Since getting diagnosed has a lot of legal implications, they try to be more careful than normal. It all jacks up the price. The medication can be a little expensive, too. Hopefully you have good insurance.
Thanks for visiting my blog. I, like you, am blessed with the wonder that is adult attention deficit disorder. I learned to work with mine a long time ago, I barely notice it anymore except for (like you mentioned) the rare times I get hyperfocused on things. I consider it a gift. ;)
I don't consider myself blessed by ADD, but I don't think I'm handicapped by it, either. It has pros and cons like most facets of life. I like having a brain set up for stress and activity, I just wish I could turn the background noise down on command.
I also can be hard to live with because I forget a lot of dull and little things like chores. I'm always seeking stimulation in one form or another. More than one past girlfriend has commented that I was the horniest man they've ever met.
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