My dreams, they've got to kiss, because I dont get sleep, no

As the title suggests, I haven't been sleeping much again. I haven't had a full night of sleep in at least 5 weeks at the moment. I've gotten used to the dull throbbing headache that's hiding behind my forehead, but I really hate the feeling that I have sand in my eyes constantly. I'm sort of stuck in the middle of a fight between my mind and body. I have either been too full of energy to sleep, or my mind has been going a hundred miles an hour keeping me staring at the ceiling at night.

I almost feel bad for my coworkers because I'm a bit crabby anyway, but lately I've been really touchy. I don't really care much. Erik in a crabby mood seems to make them work harder to keep me from having to do their jobs for them. I can live with that tradeoff. I don't really have to worry about pissing off any girlfriends or friends in general right now either. I'm too tired to do much most of the time.

I have been pushing myself at the gym lately. I started doing that hoping that I could make my body tired enough for sleep. That didn't work since I seem to get my energy back pretty quickly. I have found something that surprised me lately. My back is much stronger than I thought. I can comfortably lift my body weight plus 10%, and can almost pull +20% if I'm really pushing it. I suppose that's what happens when you keep the weight of the world on your shoulders. *laughs*

Hopefully I can get some rest soon since I'm going on a brief vacation in two weeks. Would hate to be a zombie on my vacation. I'm pretty close to that now. Naps, nookie and narcotics are needed again, I think. I don't think I'll be getting any of that anytime soon. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Here's the song from last time. It's a cover of the original, but good stuff anyway.


Land of Confusion by Genesis (cover by Disturbed)

Anyone care to guess todays song?

Now did you read the news today?

And not much love to go round.

I've been avoiding the news as much as possible. I saw the beginning of the Virginia Tech shootings happening and realized that this was going to be the news story of the year. I thought the Anna Nicole thing was awful enough, but this will be 10 times worse. First off, however, my condolences go out to the victims. I'm sure they all deserved better.

The reason I turned off the news wasn't the story itself. Like most people, I have that morbid curiosity to wonder why it happened. What bothered me was the glee I could hear in the cadence of the news people's voices as they listed every horrific detail they could find. I bet if it wasn't for the anchor desk or the well aimed camera, we could all see their erections from covering this story. Every news forum is in on this ratings gangbang right now. Anyone with any opinion, no matter how stupid is stepping up on this one.

I'm waiting for the blame to start flying full force. I caught the beginnings of it inadvertantly. I feel bad for the staff at VT. They were getting criticized for not locking down a 25,000 sudent school in two hours. I don't know about you, but I don't think there are too many contingency plans for spree killers on campus. Not to mention the logistics of getting information to everyone. I'm sure someone will sue anyway, tho.

Here are my guesses as to who will step up to the attention whoring spotlight as soon as someone will point a camera at them.

Gun control lobby- They'll be all over in a second. Which will prompt the inevitable NRA response followed by rednecks who are pro gun, but anti-brain.

Anyone who can play the race card- You know it will happen. Asian guy shooting up a primarily white school? I bet he was discriminated against in some way that the NAACP will be loudly proclaiming.

Video games- Come on, a young guy who doesn't own a Playstation or have a computer? He's gotta have at least one copy of Grand Theft Auto lying around. Jack Thompson will be jerking off in anticipation of this one. Unless he's already dropped his wad all over the media circus.

I could continue, but I'm very low on sleep here. More on that tomorrow.

Anyway, here's the admittedly (and blissfully) uninformed opinion of Erik. I have a feeling this is a guy who's had lots of troubles mentally and emotionally and very poor coping skills. He went off the deep end a long time ago and started planning this after he got his heart broken or something. He'll be a loner that everyone says was quiet, generally nice, but a little odd. I'll say there's a 50/50 chance of him being an abused or traumatized child.

Wait, I've heard this before. Somewhere. Let's see... Columbine? University of Texas? Insert name of school shooting here?

The fools are all looking for someone to blame for this. What they should be saying is "What is the cause of this evil?" I'm talking internally here. Man can be just as inhumane to his fellow man without guns, knives, sticks, and rocks. The problem is inside and they'll never see it if they sit there and point their fingers outward.

Bonus points for knowing the song the title and first line of the post comes from.