Shock and Awe

I saw this pic the other day and had to grab it to show here. The gal on the right looks very close to how the evil ex-gf looked. The only differences is that the ex has a bigger dimple in her chin, and was much shorter. Everything else from the hair to the curves in all the right places is her. I was a little surprised and even shocked when I saw this because I was trolling the internet for porn at the time.

That brought me to an interesting line of thought. Even though I don't want anything to do with that one ex ever again, and have refused a date because the gal reminded me of said ex, I still had a lot of fun watching that bit-o-porn and enjoying a few of the memories we shared as well. That ex was the only gal who could keep up with me sexually, so we did have a hell of a lot of fun together.

Anyway, a few questions for you guys now. Is it odd to think of an ex you want nothing to do with in that/any way? How would you feel if you saw an ex in a porn movie? What do you think of my taste in women? *laughs*

Today I looked out of my window at the stormy weather outside and saw what looked like a weird mist or fog. Then I smelled that campfire aroma. The apartment building next door had been hit by lightening and was on fire. We had at least 6 or 7 engine companies on the scene so the fire didn't get very far. It was almost surreal watching the firemen axe open the roof so they could get to the flames in te attic. The building next door looks exactly like mine does, too. Of course, the TV news people interviewed the dumbest people in the area when they got on scene. I saw them on the 6 o'clock news making complete fools of themselves.

Anyway, that's all for today... I'm still recovering from the weekend. Later.

Drink to the dead while you're still alive, for we shall join them in good time

Here's to my Grandpa. 32nd Infantry Div, 128th company in WWII. He served in the Phillipines, took a bullet to the head (bounced off of his skull) there, and served another 2 years in Japan after he recovered. The Australians called his unit the Bloody Red Arrows, because they were so dangerous. Go Army.

My Dad was named after the guy who was in the foxhole next to my Grandpa for many banzai attacks including the one in which his buddy was killed. These men payed for our freedom in blood. Respect them. Honor them. Cherish them.

Realize how lucky we are to have the freedom we enjoy. Raise a beer to those who can't drink anymore. We owe it to them.

Happy Memorial Day.

Is Erik ____ gonna have to choke a bitch?

The cute bartender is free to date again. She won't touch me with a hundred foot pole.

Why? This is why:

Women want a guy who will treat them like shit. They are exciting and are supposedly good in bed. They make them feel like they are alive because they go through the highest of the highs, and slam them into the lowest of the lows. They want to feel like they are a second class citizen. They want someone to take control.

Fuck that. Women do not have a clue what they are missing.

I'm not the best looking guy, but I'm not horrible. I'm getting into better shape every day. And I'm fucking fantastic in bed. I have references dammit.

Women are too fucking proud to realize that the nice, semi-attractive guy is the best one for you. We treat you well. We want you as an equal. We love you for who you are and don't want you to change. Our egos can handle a bit of instruction because we realize that we aren't perfect. We don't expect you to look like a supermodel every day. And even on your bad hair (or whatever) days, we want to love you and even screw you silly.

But apparently to get any, I need to be the guy the liar ex-gf said I am. I need to be the controlling fuck that ruins lives. I need to pay more attention to my friends (or dog as the cute bartender's bf did) than any gf. I must strive to be the biggest cock on the fucking planet because then when "I'm a fucking prick, prick, then you're on top of this." *bonus points*

So what's a guy to do that can make a batch of cookies in the morning, shoot shit up in the afternoon, and screw her silly by night? I can't tell ya since I obviously don't know. It just makes me angry.

Note- Yesterday was by Helmet. Today is a modified quote from a TV show. Take a guess. Or just tell me what's up with women...

...And wake up to my early speechless morning.

I don't really have anything to say here. Everything that's on my mind has either been covered before, and/or is negative as hell which I'm trying to get away from at the moment and am trying not to give time to.

So, yeah. I'm still the goofy, funny, smart, sad, lonely, mixed-up, undersexed, and too-honest-for-his-own-good guy. You know this, I know this. I can't figure out how to make things better, so I don't really have anything to say right now.

Points for knowing the song in the title.

Easy like Sunday morning

Catching up on a few things here. Gambino was right on with the NIN quote from a few days ago. The last post's title is a line from a Slipknot song called Vermillion Pt. 1. Good stuff.

I woke up at 5:30 this morning and couldn't get back to sleep. I'm seriously dragging because I went to bed late like the night owl that I am. No clue why I want to be up quite this early. I would've rather slept in until 9 or 10 but my body had other ideas. Oh well, at least it's been really nice and peaceful this morning.

The governor's race is starting already here in Wisconsin. The incumbant is already firing away with negative ads on TV. I'm sure I will be completely sick of the political bullshit and posturing by November. Hell, I probably will be sick of it in a month. I just can't get excited about a process that forces us to choose between two people looking for the lesser evil. It's like someone is asking if I'd rather have a doberman or a rottweiler shit on my lawn. I don't fucking care because it's going to suck either way.

The NRA is in town for their national convention. I loved the news stories about the protests and everyone was agreeing that guns are so bad and we need to ban them. I also heard one story about guns in schools. It made me laugh, because I remember what my grandpa told me about his childhood. He grew up in farm country, and all the kids brough guns to school as soon as they were old enough to use them. They hunted rabbits and another tasty critters on the way home from school (and on the way to school in the winter months). According to the anti-gun lobby, there should've been bloodshed every week with that many guns. Nope. I guess rather than education, we need laws to tell us what to do and what not to.

Not much else going on here but relaxing, daydreaming, and a bit of reading. Looking forward to a few people coming out to visit my bar this week. Hope it will be a nice turnout. Back to the daydreams...

I get nervous, perverse, when I see her it's worse.

It was a beautiful day for tailgating this morning. I was in the parking lot with the grill going and open beers by 10AM today. I am even a bit sunburned on my face, although the redness could be partly because I've had a sixer or two. We were eating, joking, tossing around a football (because I don't have a baseball glove anymore), and drinking at a perfect spot in the parking lot. We continued all of the above except the football during the game, as well.

Originally I was going to be an ass and start calling the people I knew who were working to give them game and beverage updates, but I thought that would be a little too cruel. A friend of mine wasn't so nice and was texting people in his office. A lot of people were hating their job today.

I took my mom to both games since Mother's day was last week, and her birthday is next week. She had a blast at both games, and unlike most parents I know, can hang with the boys and fit right in. While we were packing stuff up to go tailgating this morning, I asked her how many beers she wanted. "I'm not drinking today, so bring three for me." Rock on. I love my mom.

Last night, we were down real close to the field. One of my friends was enjoying heckling Dellucci way more than he should've. Maybe because he heard him after his first at bat, or maybe it's because Dellucci didn't get another hit after that. Today we were in the club level right behind the home plate. Club level has padded seats, waiters to get you food and drinks, nicer bathrooms, and a bar that serves drinks until the game is over, unlike the rest of the beer vendors. A great way to watch the game, but I still like the seats up front better.

Good news, the Brew crew prevailed (Sorry, Blonde, but your boys have no staying power). We won last night 8 to 7, and won today 5 to 4. With the win on Tuesday, that makes a clean sweep of the Phillies, all decided by one point. Exciting games to watch.

We were surrounded by a lot of gorgeous women last night, which made me nervous and got me thinking. I tend to either babble a lot around attractive women and make lots of dirty jokes, or get really quiet. I was trying to figure out if it's due to the anxiety, or something else that makes me so goofy. I'm sure it's this quality that makes me the chick magnet that I am. What do you think?

Final joke- Why do women have nipples? So men can be suckers all of their lives.

Bonus points for knowing the song the title comes from. The ladies may send their nude pics to me at the email address on the right. ;)

Before and After

The inside of the watermelon after being hit by the .45 has the consistency of thick salsa. That's what hydrostatic shock does. Wish I could post the video here, but I don't have a place for 3 megs of video. If anyone wants to see it, just let me know where to send it, and I'll mail it to you.

No more time to post today. I'm cooking up some brats in beer to grill at the game. Watch for me at the Brewers game today and tomorrow. Later!

I am a big man, yes I am, and I have a big gun.

This is an older picture of my best friend firing my Glock. The two flashes above the barrel are from the ports that help compensate for the recoil. Since I shoot a .45, there's a lot of recoil. My friend probably couldn't handle my Glock if it wasn't for the compensation since he's got weak arms and hands. I like the extra help bringing myself back on target faster.

On Tuesday, I went out to an outdoor gun range with my friend here. We were sighting in his AR-10 and generally goofing off and having a good time. I had picked up some hollow point ammunition to try out and get used to. I also decided to bring along a watermelon in case the range was completely empty. Ever since I picked up the premium hollow points, I had been curious to see what they would do. If I could figure out how to post video, I would've put the demise of the watermelon up to see. I have to say, I was amazed at what happened. Definately worth the price of admission.

Thursday I went out and met up with StB and Gambino. I love meeting new people, especially very cool people like those two. We BS'ed for a while, ogled H, and even tried to dial-a-shot Blonde, although I wasn't thinking and called it dial-a-drink. I'm not used to thinking and talking on the phone at the same time. Hell, I'm not used to talking on the phone. I haven't called anyone or been called by anyone in over a month. Anyway, I look forward to two weeks from now when they come down to my dive bar. I also remember why I normally don't drink shots on an empty stomach. Even after I ate, it had already taken effect. I got home and while trying to get some more water in me, I got ill. That'll teach me a lesson, right?

Friday I get a call from Mom. She was in Florida and I was supposed to pick her up today. Plans changed, and now the loser that was supposed to be evicted on the 3rd is picking her up. Hopefully she hasn't changed her mind on this again. This guy should've been out of her life 3 years ago or more. Yet she keeps hanging on for some reason that's incomprehensible to myself and my siblings.

Oh well. I'm going to try to get into a happy mood. I have two Brewers games to go to next week on Wednesday and Thursday against the Phillies. Should be an interesting time.

Bonus points for knowing the song.

On the train of consequences there ain't no coming back

I think that I mentioned something in passing quite some time ago here that I never got back to. I go off on my little tangents sometimes and forget where I was going in the first place. Since it's been on my mind lately, I'm going to finally get back to it.

Like I've said before, real life and I didn't really get along well. I didn't like it, and it didn't like me. After getting kicked out of college, bouncing around for a while, and falling flat on my face, I hit th bottom and started making some progress again. In 3 years, I went from homeless to living in my own apartment and working full time while going to night classes full time. I was going to school for computer programming. I like computers and am good with them, so I figured I'd do well as a programmer.

Since I didn't have a car, I had to live close to work and school. To manage this, I found a job over on the east side of Milwaukee and an apartment within walking distance of both. I ended up working in a pharmacy thanks to some connections I had since I had never worked in the field of pharmacy before. It was the right place at the right time. I ended up with one of the best bosses I have ever had. The guy was very tolerant of employees as long as you were competent and did your job. I work best in an environment like that.

What really made the job great, is that I got to geek out completely. I asked questions about how all the drugs worked, and sometimes they would tell me about it and other times they pointed me at the references and told me to figure it out. The computer system wasn't known well to most, so I ended up learning it from scratch, troubleshooting it, and then started teaching the people there how to do things they didn't know was possible. I got to know some very interesting people who were very smart. I learned things every day. I had found my place.

I like helping people. I love to use my mind and memory all the time. I like chemistry, anatomy, and science in general. I was born to be a pharmacist. I switched colleges and majors to a pre-PharmD by the end of that year. Over the next few years I established a 3.4 GPA in my new program and was getting ready to start applying to pharmacy schools. I had missed something, tho.

Starting in 2000, the federal government made it a requirement that all new pharmacists had to have a doctoral degree, otherwise known as a PharmD. The only people qualified to teach PharmD's were other PharmD's. This wasn't supposed to be a problem because back in the early 90's a government study said that America would need less pharmacists in the future, but better trained ones. Then they started building a Walgreens on every corner and drug companies were allowed to advertise. Pharmacy sales go through the roof. The population is aging as well, and older people need drugs. See the problem yet?

Now, less pharmacists going into a field that desperately needs more people. Salaries go up sharply in just a few years. A brand new pharmacist in 1990 could pull 70-75k a year starting on average. In 2000, it's frequently in the six-figure range. This lures more PharmD's out of the pharmacy schools and into the business world. With the salaries going up, more students are trying to get into pharmacy school. Back to my story.

I talk to some pharmacy schools trying to decide which one would be better for me. The registrars all want to know what my GPA is. My total cumulative GPA for everything since I left high school. Since I'm a white male, that's the only thing that will get me into pharmacy school. Well, I fucked up my first chance at college with a cumulative GPA of 0.6 after a year. I realize quickly that no school will touch me with that.

That brings me to today. I'd still like to finish college, but I've spent years working on getting into pharmacy school and can't go. It would take even more years to change majors and go for a new degree. Worse yet, I don't even know what I'd want to do or where to start. I've spent a couple years working on a career that got all fucked up a few months back. I'm back at square one at 30 years of age, and I'm not sure where to start again. I don't even have the motivation either, because every time I work my ass off, I end up with nothing to show for it.

This is the source of my professional frustration. For those of you who've read everything here, you know my sources of social and personal frustration. In the animal world, if something causes you pain, you attack it or run from it. In times that animals can't fix their problems, they lay down and wait to die. I understand that response. Right now I'd just like to throw in the towel. My best efforts have all turned to shit, and I'm tired. Not just physically tired, either. My soul is tired. Anyone know a way to rest a weary soul?

Let me know. Or let me know what you think. Bonus points for knowing the song the title comes from.

...And Justice for all.

When the fuck did I get to be such a whiny bitch?

I know that jack shit has gone on in my life since I left my last job, but when I was reading over my old posts, it seemed like I had something to say back then. These days I cry and whine like someone had removed my nuts and put them in a goddamn jar.

Time for the old/new Erik to come out.

Here's a little story of justice that I was happy to see on the news. A shop owner in Tosa opened his store the other day, and two guys came in to rob it. Shop owner says, "fuck off", and pulls the gun under the counter. Robber #1 takes a bullet to the chest and staggers out of the store. Robber #2 nearly shits his pants and lets himself get taken to the ground. As this happens, the phone rings. The owner of the store answers it and talks to the other gal who works there. He tells her, "Sorry, I can't talk right now, I just shot a guy and am holding another guy at gunpoint until the cops get here."

So, the final tally is one fucker in jail, the other under guard and is in critical condition at the hospital. I love stories when the good guys win.

A quick question, tho. Basically, I've been told by fucking EVERYONE lately that I'm not an attractive guy. According to them, this shouldn't bug me because it's personality that matters, right? I dunno, tho. If people want to start a website to get me a date, I think I have every right to be fucking pissed off, don't you?

Besides, women should be creaming their jeans hoping to get some of this. I mean, all this and I'm good in bed? Hell, I have references and everything. *laughs*

BTW, yesterday's song was Slipknot's "No Life".

I feel like shit....Deja-vu

Here's the answers to the lyrical montage I threw at everyone last week in case someone cares.

1- "Kill the Rock", Mindless Self Indulgence

2- "Rock Bottom", Eminem

3- "Wise Up! Sucker", Pop Will Eat Itself

I figured that 2 would've been the easy one. The title of the last post came from the chorus of a Bad Religion song.

I like music in my life. It sometimes says the things I'd like to say but don't know how to express it. Music can also be a release or an escape. Other times it just feels good to know that I'm not the only one who feels that way. ST is good for that for me all too often.

Final thought-

I can't remember, I don't understand,
Is it malice that makes you this way?
Carry it with you 'til someone forgives you,
I laugh cuz there's nothing to say.